Then counting over the money to take to the bank. A- in bad humour about something and copying old parchments again, so I kept aloof.
[A- had a headache] It was bad humour – did not like sometimes going from home with me and sometimes not – very different from what she expected. I could not at first guess what she meant – on explanation after coming up from my father she did not like my not taking her to Richmond Park, but leaving her to call on, or rather, spend the day with Mrs Plowes – I explained affectionately and calmly. She cried and said she knew I should think it nothing and only turned it against her as I had done two or three times before. She thought the sooner we parted the better. I said my greatest and first wish was her happiness – if I could not make her happy, I only hoped someone else might succeed better etc etc. Very kind and affectionate – said were I in her place I should not like being taken, as it were, to be looked [at]. I thought it bad taste, but it should be as she liked. Oh no, but she had expected very different – something led to my recalling my expression about old Mrs Saltmarsh that perhaps it might be in her power to introduce Catherine Rawson. Then, said A-, ‘you should not have claimed powers you did not possess’. I reminded her of my saying I hoped to succeed but if I could not my failure would be better than many people’s success, but if left to do my own way I did not despair. She by and by came round, kissed me etc. I took all well but thinking to myself ‘there is danger in the first mention, the first thought that it is possible for us to part – time will show – I shall try to be prepared for whatever may happen.