No kiss. A- bad as ever – stood about three quarters hour talking to her before I was washed. She frets over my laying out so much money here for her with the impression she has on her mind that ‘we shall never be blessed together’. She said she should never be happy with me – she dared not. Of course, I said this might be got over any time – she had only to order horses and go anytime she liked but I said she was foolish. Why could she not wait till I, myself, could get off abroad and leave her – ‘oh I can wait’, she answered. Much more passed but I took it quietly. The fact is, she wants to leave me. Well, be it so. I must now think only of my own concerns and do the best I can for myself. I shall see about her, perhaps it is all for the best. I shall be at liberty again by and by. I will not trouble [my] head much about her but suit my own convenience.
Poor A-, sorry. All made up again, but how will it end? Poor thing she is under my finger and thumb. I must do the best I can but never depend upon her.