I had thought it would be a saving to A- and enough for me if she would keep the establishment, as I had mentioned before. I said I thought it would be better for her and me too and then I would never have more from her than for the establishment to surprise. She said she could not do that and do for her estate which was in worse order than mine. Her father had been very kind to her, and she did not think it right not to do for the estate – and she cried and said it was very hard, she had no comforts herself. This upset me. Seeing this, she tried to console me, but this only made me worse – and in a burst of tearful grief went up to my own bedroom. A- with me, I lay down, walked up and down the room, then went to A-‘s room and sat in my aunt’s great chair – A- by me. I left her about eleven, declining her invitation to sleep with her. My mind was made up to leave her. I somehow got attendrie when I thought all over – I longed for a nutshell to live quietly in and yet the thought of her and the parting distressed me.

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