A- in tears and all wrong at my going without her. Long talk about it, got her right and she went with me.
Somehow, I have rusticated so long I feel dissatisfied with myself – A- with all her shyness had more real enjoyment than I had. I know enough to make me uncomfortable and too little to set me at ease. And then A- is so low and narrow in her views about our finances that I cannot count upon anything – and I sometimes say to myself ‘perhaps it is happiest to live and die at Shibden – the world forgetting, by the world forgot’. If I had a clear two thousand a year of my own, me thinks it would be different – but we are all short-sighted mortals and know not what is good for us. Oh, Lord, be with me and help me and be merciful to me, a sinner.