Slept in [the] blue room – my mind seems comfortably made up. A- has been preparing Crow Nest and has wanted to be away from here for long. How lucky I have not introduced her to anyone! The sooner she goes the better.

[With A-] talk over last night. Why did she not come to me this morning – she did not know whether I should be glad to see her or not, very sorry. I said the worst of it was that she shook my confidence so terribly yes[terday], she knew that must be. I said others could be made unhappy as well as herself. I said this work would not do. She must make up her mind to go or stay but she ought to go properly. I said I really could not stand this – I would do anything I could for her except one thing, did she know what that was – no. I said no more but the one thing I kept to myself was that if she left me, I would not take her back again. I said she would be dull at Crow Nest by herself. I could get off abroad in six weeks, I thought. However, it seems to me she is sorry this morning and has no present intention to leave me. Stevens was right – that I should have a great deal of trouble with her. Well, I shall suit myself. I can have excuse enough for being off anytime and letting her do her own way, but while she is with me, I must hold the rein tighter.

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