[A-] all in tears and low – said I left her so much – said this on my telling her I was going to Princess R[adzivill]. A sort of scene and talk as usual on these occasions – she promised to try to exert herself, but what melancholy miserable work it is.
Seven examinations by three different accoucheurs who all agreed there was no organic disease.
The Emperor had behaved beautifully. He and the Empress and she being all together – he owned that much as he preferred the Empress to all other woman. Yet, that had Princess R[adzivill] made any effort to win him, he was homme and could not have answered for himself – but she had not – and in short, there was a scene and they all three cried – wept. And all was beautiful but still the Empress had at times been jealous and then got over it. R- went to Odessa because the Empress wanted her to promise if she could not go, to remain at Saint Petersburg the eight months till the court returned. No, R- would return home and stay there if she was not well enough to go to Odessa, but she did go – she consulted nobody but her physician – as a friend did not even tell her sister at Saint P[etersburg] for fear of her writing to her parents and distressing them. The physician told her to go, saying it was kill or cure, but in such a case to go honour – reputation at stake. It was envy – all scandalized her but she believed the people here now did her justice. She had many offers, but she knew it was that they wanted favour – all told R- such stories to prevent his marrying her but she herself explained and he relived her perfect innocence. So much chagrin had been too much for her. Poor thing, I expressed my own belief and admiration and she kissed me affectionately on my coming away.
Meant to write but A- came. Long talk till after twelve – what miserable work. How shall I endure it? I must manage her better or we cannot go on together – I feel as if it would be heaven to be without her.
Copies of letters to Mr’s Grey, Harper and Mackean.