Slept with A-.

Having first come upstairs for a few minutes and said my prayers with tears of gratitude trickling down and then wrote in pencil on a loose bit of paper – ‘I think perpetually of A-‘s leaving me and wish it more and more. How merciful providence has been to me! Given her to me to spirit me up in the beginning and now takes her away just when I see that she could not make me happy’.

Saying at dinner that P- would want S[amuel] W[ashington] about stand even – put her out of sorts but gave her cherry brandy for poorliness and took no notice of the temper. Mr Gray must see how the matter stands.

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