29 August 1835

No kiss.

A- not at all entering into my delight with the model sofa, [I] [be]came silent, that is, damped, but perfectly good tempered. I feel now at last resigned to my fate and take it very quietly. She has no mind for me – I shall not meet with one that has in this world. Let me be thankful for all the mercies rather than sigh for more.

27 August 1835

No kiss.

And help her with a form of agreement for a cottage tenant to sign, did it all anew for her altered from my own – she thought it too long.

[Dinner at 6 ½, A- poorly afterwards] Had three and quarters glasses of wine – too much for her. The room turned round with her – tipsy – had talked much.

24 August 1835

No kiss.

A- gave me fifteen pounds tonight to pay George. She is afraid she shall not have enough for herself. I shall manage as well as I can and not get much of hers.

23 August 1835

No kiss.

Then to A- in tears on the bed – some time in getting to know what it was all about. Viz. because she did not like to go to Church in [the] yellow carriage – said I would order it differently directly and got her right again. I have been strongly impressed within these few days even from little things in her own manner that we shall not stick together forever – she will want to be off – well, be it so. I will try to manage my affairs as well as I can and let her go. Hope springs eternal the human breast. Perhaps after all I may have Lady Ann Scott.

14 August 1835

A kiss last night rather better than that the night before but she moaned after it till she fell asleep in about half hour or less – but I took no notice.

A- sickish and reading the psalms while I washed. She is queer and little minded, and I fear her intellect. I must make the best of it. Perhaps she will be with me as long as my father and aunt live and the I see she will be no companion for me. I shall be au large again but not for M-. I must look into my money matters.

11 August 1835

No kiss.

[With Vere] This, she owned, had something to do with her present illness. I laughed and said she ought to have taken me – my income to hers would have made a difference – we should have got on very well together. It was too late now, all her own fault but, thought I, it is better as it is – she would not have suited me. She, like Lady S[tuart], is out at the elbows. Let it be a lesson to me.

A- queer about money – this will not do – we shall never stick together. I will labour my accounts and set myself straight and prepare to do without her in case of need.

10 August 1835

No kiss.

[Seeing doctor with A-] In fact, he entered into the case at once, no humbug, said she was just the sort of person for nervous pains.