25 February 1840

A- tolerably right again – I took no notice of last night. She wrong at my spending the money on the eggs if I would not eat them – her mind is not large as to little matters.

24 February 1840

Went behind the servant’s kibitka and did job – first time of so managing, could not alight the last stage.

A- queerish and impatient so shut my door and no more of her.

16 February 1840

Amused? with the style of Countess A- Panin’s letter to her cousin and copied it – see the other end [of] this book. Her manner of mentioning us is not the nicest? She calls A- my companion, but she deserves this since she would not be pleased to be thought my niece. The fact is, she has so little that is taking about her that they know not what to make of her – especially as she is no relation. Princess R- once asked why I had such a person so unsuited but I passed it over and she had too much tact ever to repeat the observation – I said I could not do without her, she kept house for me – not everyone would travel about with me and I must have someone.

08 February 1840

We had the pot brought in – first time a great convenience.

At four incur[red] a cross think[ing] loosely of M-, as I always do now when she serves me for these purposes – which I do not now give way to very often. But I have had no opportunity of putting anything on nor have I washed once, so that my shift is one clot and my hair is clotted together – and this and the friction of jolting brought on erection which, as I lay conveniently down in the bottom of the kibitka and A- sleeping, I did not discourage. Found myself very large at night and glad of a wash and to get rid of my clotted chemise. Never such a thing occurred to me in my life before.