29 June 1836

No kiss.

[Letter to Lady Stuart] Wrote in forty minutes.

Then crept out for five minutes and came in as if I had been out all the while and gave A- my letters to read.

21 June 1836

No kiss.

A- said she had had two glasses of wine and was better but still low. She had had too much at any rate and at last I got her to lie down on the sofa. She will drink by and by – a fine concern I shall have of it. I must do the best I can.

What between these people and A- I could do nothing – I fear A-‘s temper. Said I shall have a great deal of trouble with her and no credit – she will drink.

19 June 1836

No kiss.

A- on the sofa asleep ever since coming upstairs – low, so gave her three and a quarter glasses of wine, she nothing loth and this quieted her.

18 June 1836

No kiss.

They thought it right to tell – Mrs Briggs had been crying at dinner, and Miss B- fretting to see her mother fret because Miss Walker spoke to her, Mrs B-, in such a way she could not bear it – would leave at an hours warning but her own house not ready. I was silent a moment or two then gently said this was not the right way for Mrs B- to go on – it was at least unlucky, all mistake – nobody kinder in reality than A-. Said I could take no notice of what George told but could easily set all right if Mrs B- spoke to me. I much obliged to her etc. Poor George saw there was no good to be done against A- but I see they all dislike her. A- came to me – turned all off very nicely and all seemed satisfied.

14 June 1836

No kiss. Thought we should have had one last night – got her to come to me but then she said it was too hot and begged [me] off and thanked me for giving up!

09 June 1836

No kiss. A- bad as ever – stood about three quarters hour talking to her before I was washed. She frets over my laying out so much money here for her with the impression she has on her mind that ‘we shall never be blessed together’. She said she should never be happy with me – she dared not. Of course, I said this might be got over any time – she had only to order horses and go anytime she liked but I said she was foolish. Why could she not wait till I, myself, could get off abroad and leave her – ‘oh I can wait’, she answered. Much more passed but I took it quietly. The fact is, she wants to leave me. Well, be it so. I must now think only of my own concerns and do the best I can for myself. I shall see about her, perhaps it is all for the best. I shall be at liberty again by and by. I will not trouble [my] head much about her but suit my own convenience.

Poor A-, sorry. All made up again, but how will it end? Poor thing she is under my finger and thumb. I must do the best I can but never depend upon her.