27 June 1840

Incurred a cross last night thinking of M-.

At the last station and here little necessary at the back across the court line space. It is a bleak table line bench over a wooden tub and I did a tolerable big job very comfortably.

14 June 1840

A- and I all wrong, neither of us speaking – it must be known to more than ourselves. How thankful I shall be when the parting is well over.

Cousin came gently just before getting into bed.

13 June 1840

Never spoke nor she to me beyond the absolute necessaire.

Feel very grave and little inclined to speak – musing how best to leave her, what to do and where to live – at or near Paris? Not at Shibden yet a while, she would be too near.

12 June 1840

Then talking over journey and money matters and, as usual, this last subject never ends happily. We have had in foreign money – six hundred and fifty of the thousand pounds of circulars and eight and fifty of the letter of credit. At last, quietly, this is always an unlucky subject – a cloud comes over me, she muttered something – I inquired – it was ‘very well’ – I said no more. She afterwards at dinner held out her hand and gave me a kiss. I attempted to advise not bothering ourselves – this sent her wrong again and fixed me in my thoughtful silence. Thought I, as I had asked if she would like to do, but got no answer, we will go home from [the] mountains, cross to the Crimea, and by Odessa to Moscow – hurry home.

10 June 1840

But how droll about the Cossack officer. I had proposed giving the same sum I gave, or was to have given, which they thought so enormous, that is, thirty-five silver rouble, therefore officer would just have seven for his pains. No, said she, when I asked if that was enough, add three more – agreed. The officer will have ten, the carrossier twenty-eight! She told me last night that the Cossacks were less pain than any of the rest of the army – could not live. The colonel has two thousand assignats a year with bread and kasha and wheat (from ent) – enough to make quass and a little wood and ditto light (candles or oil). The lieutenant very poor – his pay three hundred assig, must keep three horses – will hardly support them a private, must have and find one horse, but has forage given and twenty silver roubles a year. A sous officer has three hundred assignats.