31 May 1836

Incurred a cross after seven thinking of A- and her probable excitement on taking the cantharides.

He brought the half ounce of tincture of cantharides for A-.

30 May 1836

[A- at Cliff Hill]

[With Dr Belcombe discussing A-‘s] Irregularity – advised her taking twelve drops of tincture of cantharides in a little cold water twice a day ten or twelve days before monsieur ought to come.

27 May 1836

[A- at Cliff Hill] Incurred a cross at seven thinking of M-.

A- wrong about – not in a good temper ever since her return this afternoon and my getting forty-five pounds of her to pay Joseph Mann. Did her no good, poor soul, her mind is not very large – and shall we split up on money matters at last? Well, be it so. I shall get on without her.

26 May 1836

[A- at Cliff Hill] Incurred a cross thinking of M- just before eight.

[A-] half repenting her purchase because she must borrow the money – I said of Mr Gray seven thousand on the place.

08 May 1836

No kiss – A- low as usual.

A- had scarce got home before she was in tears and quite low – got her to lay down and left her.

Long talk. A- thought it her duty to leave me – explained. Said I could not stand this – she must make up her mind and stick to it. She should not have difficulty in leaving me, but I thought her very foolish. The fact is, as I told her, she did not like signing her will. I told her she had best do it now and alter it afterwards – we should both look so foolish if she did not – it would make the break between us immediate. She had better take time. At last she saw, or seemed to see, her folly – and said with more than usual energy she really would try to do better. Tis well my own confidence is not great – I will do the best I can accordingly.

07 May 1836

No kiss.

Tib at last talked gibberish and, when I would not join her and Charlotte, said nor I nor times were not better since I had given it up – supposed Miss Walker kept me in order. What nonsense. I was tired of it but did not show my weariness. They are not society for me now – their conversation is uninteresting and a bore.